Giddy Up! Neuroplasticity, Qi and teaching an old horse new tricks!

I once heard a fascinating talk by a neurobiologist about neural wiring (I wish I could remember her name or find the talk again, but alas, it was over a decade ago and I have googled it every way I can possible think to with no luck!) It was very much based on the idea that "nerves that fire together wire together." In this talk there was a very simple analogy that I absolutely LOVE and still regularly use (professionally and personally) pretty much every day... I'll share it with you in a moment!

But first, a little scientific detour! If you use certain neural pathways in your brain more often, they get reinforced to work better and fire faster. You can look at the brain and actually see this!  For example, people who are more resilient and less prone to staying anxious, depressed, or angry tend to have stronger connections and more/stronger neural activity between their left prefrontal cortex (higher functioning conscious brain) and their amygdala (an area of the brain highly associated with experiencing emotions). The theory is that because this connection is reinforced, the conscious higher brain can actually send messages to the emotional brain to help it calm down - COOL!  (To read a whole fabulous article about this from Mindful Magazine click here.)

Me being the geek/traditional chinese medicine practitioner that I am, have used these ideas for years to talk not only about brain science, but qi (chee). The qi is the energy in your body but, honestly, it doesn't really matter what paradigm you are looking at things through (east or west), the bottom line for BOTH is that the body gets used to certain patterns, sometimes healthy and sometimes not and the longer or more those patterns are reinforced, the harder you have to work to unlearn them and learn new (hopefully healthier) ones instead! 

Now back to the fabulous analogy, it went something like this... 

In the old timey days when things were delivered via horse and cart the horses would memorize their route. After a while, the driver would hardly have to prompt the horses at all. They would stop at the learned stops, wait an appropriate amount of time, continue on their way, make all the correct turns, and do the entire route practically on their own.

This is all well and good, but when the route was somehow changed, the horses would get VERY worked up. Ask a horse who is used to turning right every day at a certain crossroads to turn left instead... well, hold on to your hat!  The driver would have to grab the reigns, hold tight, give strong commands and really consciously direct the horse in the other direction. It doesn't end there, as the horse goes down the new route it behaves in an agitated way. It is a scary thing to go down uncharted territory. (What the horse may not understand is that the new route, actually is easier... say, going left means going downhill on a smooth road, versus that old route, where going right meant going uphill on bumpy terrain.) 

Do you see where this is going?

The horse, is your brain to that neurobiologist. The horse is your qi to me (okay, actually your brain and your qi to me). And this is how it is with our patterns of behavior, emotions, and responses to life. Our 'horses' get used to going a certain route, over and over, year after year. Perhaps they were learned decades ago. Patterns of things like, being a stoic scandinavian, blowing up and having a short fuse, feeling like a victim, worrying about everything, assuming if you don't do it no one will, feeling sad and overwhelmed.  These are just patterns you have learned and enforced each time you experience them. These are just the patterns your qi/brain knows the best and takes off down without you having to do a thing.

So, how do you make a change?

Well, like anything awareness is key!  You have to identify that this is happening and which routes your particular 'horse' keeps heading down. Then, just like those old timey horse and cart drivers, you must grab the reigns and lead your resistant, grudging horse down the path that is the one you really want to go down.

And it doesn't feel nice at first. In fact, when you first start to do this, it sucks. It feels all wrong, totally foreign, and you'll absolutely swear that the old route is, in fact, easier. That's your horse talking!  

Don't listen! Hold the reigns even tighter and give yourself a big "Whoa!"  It won't feel good for a while. But if you can stick with it you'll learn the new route. 

Quick example. I worked with a fabulous woman, her horses had the route of, "If I don't do it, no one will," "No one will do it like I will," "I don't have time for me," and "Go, go, go!" down pat. I explained to her that one of the biggest things she could do to get in balance would be to stop behaving this way. If she could manage this, she would stop spending all her body's resources on these behaviors and have more left to go towards her real goal - becoming a mom. 

She intuitively knew this was true, and because she wanted to achieve her dream of being a mom she decided to grab the reigns and really really try to go a different direction. 

She stopped working crazy hours. She went to yoga or to the gym instead of doing more work. She put a little sign on her door at work that said do not disturb and took little naps and quiet times, she sat around in the evening and watched TV instead of researching, working, doing more. 

And she hated just about every moment of it! It felt stressful, it felt foreign, it felt unproductive.

She came to my office and told me her horses, "really do not like you Nicole!"  Joking slightly, but also being honest.

She told me her horses weren't fond of me every single visit for a good month or two. She had seen another acupuncturist prior to me that hadn't done much in the way of stress reduction, emotional work, etc., but spent the few minutes they did chat each week focusing on exactly what her cycle was doing, what her cervical mucus or menstrual blood was like, etc.  She told me she was wondering if I was missing something by not focusing on these things (although I had gotten a 2.5 hour intake and wrote a 6 page report about her when we began working together so I had gotten a good snapshot of what I needed to do in these areas). I told her that was not my way of working (I spend a good 1/2 hour talking about life, emotions, diy options, things that have changed and the whole person at each of my visits) and that I would absolutely respect her choice if she decided I wasn't the right fit for her.  

Then, her horse got the new route!

She came into the office BEAMING!  I mean literally beaming!!!  She exclaimed, "MY HORSE GOT IT!"  And she never looked back. All the sudden, she hit a point where the new route became familiar. It had been reinforced enough times she didn't need to force it. She didn't want to work from dawn until dusk, she didn't want the weight of the world on her shoulders, she could say no, she could do less, and she felt amazing!  I was so proud!!  

And in the grand tradition of student becoming teacher, this particular patient has become SO good at this new route, she has occasionally had to set me straight when I do a bit more than I should. And I do my best to listen because I consider her a pro :)

And as she approaches the birth of her baby, she has more than once expressed what a completely different type of mom she will be, all because she grabbed the reigns for those two uncomfortable months. What a healthy, lovely example she will be setting for someone in the next generation, and how much more will she be able to enjoy being a mom and alive. 

I hope you will give this a try. It won't be easy, but it really is one of the most powerful and healing things you can do for yourself.

One last tip. I encourage you to share what you are doing and this analogy with at least one other person who knows you well. Then encourage that person to remind you... "where are your horses?" or "redirect those horses!"  My husband and I do it for one another (and as my personal route is having a short temper) it is always a mix of wanting to strangle him and wanting to kiss him for keeping me on the right path. It's a good thing to have support!  

Holistic Factors in Predicting IVF Success

Photo: ALAMY

I've said it loads of times; holistically a woman's level of fertility and chances of having a baby are dependent on SO much more than her age. Sure, age can be a general thing to consider (and there are certainly holistic things to consider when it comes to being a mom or dad at older ages), but  I would MUCH rather have a person look at his or her overall level of health and balance (or lack thereof) when it comes to figuring out if the odds are stacked for or against them.

In the last year a company has begun the initial stages of offering two products that look at things a bit more holistically. These tests are based on research done at Stanford University's School of Medicine by Mylene Yao MD and her team (she is also the co-founder of the company that is marketing this test).

"It was the goal of Yao, Westphal and their colleagues to develop a way to provide patients with more personalized predictions. They took data from 1,676 IVF cycles performed at Stanford Hospital and Clinics between 2003 and 2006 and identified 52 factors -- such as patient age, levels of certain hormones, number and quality of eggs and individual characteristics of each embryo -- that influence a woman's chance of having a baby. They then developed a computer model that sorted patients into subsets defined by similar clinical characteristics (so-called "deep phenotyping") to predict live-birth probabilities in a subsequent round of IVF.

When testing their model with data from a separate set of more than 600 IVF treatments performed in 2007-08, the researchers determined that the model's predictions were significantly different than the age-based predictions in 60 percent of patients. Interestingly, out of this group, more than half were assigned greater odds of having a baby than what age-related data indicated.

What's more, in further verifying the accuracy of their new method, Yao and her colleagues determined that their model predicted outcomes with 1,000 times more accuracy than the age-based guidelines widely used in clinics.

Their findings, the researchers said in the paper, indicated that "the current age-based paradigm may provide misleading live birth outcome probabilities for a large portion of patients."

The company, Univfy, is hoping to offer two tests one based on up to 20 factors in women who have already undergone IVF (to predict the outcomes of subsequent cycles) and another "which assesses hormone levels, health and lifestyle factors," that will be marketed to couples considering their first cycle of IVF.   Here's another article about these two tests.

Dr. Yao puts it quite nicely:  

"This is a very important development as we want to get people away from thinking that probability is totally centered on age... The chance of a woman's IVF treatment being successful is much more complex than that."

What a lovely and very HOLISTIC way to look at things!

On that note, I've mentioned this relatively new book to lots of my patients over the last year or so called "Making Babies: A proven three month program for maximum fertility" There is a fabulous website that goes with it and I think it is a great jumping off place for many who want to improve their lifestyle and overall health with the intention of optimizing their fertility. Which is GREAT because (as opposed to age, which only gets worse and worse when it comes to fertility, your lifestyle choices and overall health are ALWAYS things you can improve!) My only gripe with this book is the same as the one I have with  any fertility "program" it can be overwhelming and stressful and the stress can cancel out the good your are aiming to benefit from. Please pace yourself and listen to your gut and the voice of moderate reason. You do not have to do everything all at once or chose the things that will create a bunch more stress in your life, rather do the options that make sense to you and trust that things are cumulative and that tipping the scales further and further in the right direction will serve you well whatever your ultimate path may be.  

Another Take On a Theme

A big theme in the work I do and what I blog about is that each person is an individual and each person's big picture or constellation of symptoms, feelings, experiences are different... why then should there be a one size fits all approach to most health issues?

I was just looking up a meditation from a website I love for its holistic and free podcasts when my eye was caught by some of the blog posts the author had written.

This one in particular about "Who is the best authority on your health?" is such a perfect compliment to my post on "The difference between natural vs. holistic."  I hope you'll take the time to read both and puruse Mary's sites.  She's got lots of good information and I love her individual, nuanced and holistic approach!

Now I'm off to teach this month's holistic fertility retreat on 'What Define's You.' So excited!

Nicole

My Kind of Testimonial!

A quite a while back I wrote a post about why I don't tout my statistics or success stories on my website or blog.  You can read that post here

What it comes down to is that I don't want a woman to work with me just because she reads an impressive number on my website.  Nor do I want a woman to work with me because she sees a testimonial where someone like her writes to thank me for helping her have a baby.  Of COURSE, I know that each and every woman I have the honor of working with wants to be a mom in the deepest fibers of her being and of COURSE I know that that is the ultimate success they are hoping I will help them achieve and I want that too! But that to me there is so much more to the story...

I get emails sometimes with the sorts of "testimonials" I REALLY feel tell about me and my practice. I just got this one the other day and it brought tears to my eyes:

'I cannot even tell you how special a part of this journey you have been for me.  I feel that I am a better person for having known you.  I know that sounds a little sappy, but it’s true.  You created a shift in me.  I feel now that I can say I handled this journey with strength and grace and I owe that so much to you.  You helped me to learn to feel the bad when it happens, but then move on.  You helped me to know that I was never alone in what I was feeling, even the darkest of thoughts.  You led me to amazing new friendships that I cherish.  You taught me to not compare or judge other women’s pain.  And so much more, I know.  I really am to a point now where I wouldn’t want to change my journey… at all.  Even though it was so, so difficult.  I like where I am, and I like who I am.'

And although I rejoice with each and every baby I help facilitate coming into this world and I cheer for my patients' successes.  This sort of feedback, more than any positive pregnancy test or birth announcement (and I LOVE these - believe me!) is why I love my job more than I will ever ever be able to express and this is why I am passionate about my role in helping others navigate this very hard road. I feel like babies often do come from this place of peace and support and balance and when I facilitate these things the rest comes so much more naturally.

So if THIS is the sort of thing you are seeking on your own journey and you don't know where to turn or how you could possibly feel this way, please read more of my blog posts, come to my retreats or think of working with me. It'd be my pleasure to help in any possible way I can, even if we never meet!

The Difference Between Natural and Holistic

Sometimes I hear stories that make me cringe.  The acupuncturist who insists their patient MUST take herbs or come in for acupuncture more frequently if they want to improve.  The chiropractor who has a patient taking handfuls of supplements that cost a ton of money and coming in three times a week. The massage therapist who tells their client that he or she can feel things (that the patient cannot) which means they need more massage. The herbalist who shrugs off their patients adverse reaction (possibly to the herbs they are prescribing) and insists either a) it is not the herbs or b) it is a healing crisis and the person should/needs to feel worse before getting better.  The provider who tells a patient they are getting better based on their "feelings, assessment, etc" even though the patient is feeling no improvements.  The provider who suggests natural herbs, remedies, etc. without the appropriate level of training under the assumption that because they are natural they can't do any harm.  

A) I could go on and on and on... sadly

and 

B) My blood pressure is rising just writing this

So I want to do a post where I say in as clear a way as possible...

JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS NATURAL DOES NOT MEAN IT IS HOLISTIC

JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS NATURAL DOES NOT MEAN IT IS HEALTHY

If YOU as a patient are not feeling good about what you are doing.  I do not care if it is natural (or as western) as it gets, it is worth further consideration.

If YOU are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, financially strapped, pressured, or invalidated in ANY WAY (when it comes to your preferences, what you feel, what you think), it is worth further consideration. 

If YOU are questioning your judgement or feeling like your opinion doesn't matter, it is worth further consideration.

I'm sure that many practitioners legitimately DO believe what they are telling you is true.  I do not believe the majority of the practitioners who say/do these things are bad people, unethical, intentionally misleading.  But I do believe that they do not truly understand what HOLISM means.  Being holistic does not mean natural is automatically good, nor does it mean their way or the highway. Being holistic does not mean I as the practitioner know everything and you know less than you need to to make a good decision for yourself.  Being holistic means the exact opposite of these things.  

As a holistic practitioner, and I mean truly holistic, not just someone trained in a natural form of healing, I know that regardless of how much I know or how much insight I have on a person from a Traditional Chinese medicine perspective, the bottom line is that THEY do and will always know more than me about what is right for them.  So it is my job to share with them my knowledge, prognosis and thoughts, my ideas, suggestions and preferences and then honor the fact that they know their level of commitment this this particular option, their finances, their schedule, their gut instinct, their level of support from others, their priorities, their spirituality, their politics, values, and much more and that they should do whatever feels like the best, most sustainable, most balancing, sane making, and healthy version of whatever I'm presenting and that they alone should make that call.  Not me.  

And if they decide to try what I suggest and it makes them feel worse or more stressed instead of better and more balanced...  They still know more than I do and I need to look at what I'm missing and make a change and honor that. 

It is ALWAYS my job to support each individual person right where they stand, without any guilt, pressure or lecturing, without me imposing my finances, schedule, priorities, politics, values or anything else of MINE onto them.  Because I am not them.  And if I am looking at things holistically that means more than anything else. More than my views on pure Traditional Chinese Medicine, more than my views on natural ways to promote fertility and good health, I need to see them as a whole person with many many more moving parts than the ones I am directly working with.

I hope you will ask more of your natural practitioners, I hope you will insist that instead of merely being natural, they are truly holistic.  You deserve it, and I promise you, you will feel much better.

And if you like this topic and want to know more of my thoughts on why one size does NOT fit all and why looking at a person as a whole is important, you might also like this post I did a while back about the concept of differential diagnosis.

Websites I Like - Holistic, fertility, pregnancy, and more!

Inspiration/Holistic Living:
Crazy Sexy Life blogs, videos, and more on becoming a wellness warrior, taking charge of your health and living a crazy sexy abundant life.  Founded by a young woman with cancer who took things into her own hands after Western medicine said there was nothing to be done!
The New Medicine Great tools and a great documentary about the "new medicine" that treats both the body and the mind.  Lots of impressive research on why the mind matters!
Steps to Learn Mindfulness 20 easy suggestions for daily meditation practice
Cultivating Mindfulness general tips to be more in the moment

Fertility:
Making Babies Book Okay, so it's not a site, but (in my humble opinion) this is currently the best book on holistic fertility on the market (written by a Western Doctor (RE) and an acupuncturist)... really nicely done, I highly recommend it!
SoulCysters.com The largest online community of women with PCOS (and the name sort of makes me laugh).
Maybe if You Just Relax Maybe it's not your type of humor, but if it is... I find it to be a hilarious blog by a woman who's been through fertility struggles, a subsequent pregnancy, parenting, a frozen transfer, and now pregnancy with twins... who knows where else this journey will take her, but if you think no one else can relate... give this a read!


Pregnancy/Birthing:
Amma Maternity Twin Cities amazing maternity and new parent resource center.  With classes for each trimester of pregnancy, birthing preparation, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, infant cpr, transitioning from 2 to 3 as well as classes for big siblings to be, new baby/mom play groups, a boutique with helpful stuff and more
Blooma Twin Cities Yoga studio and wellness center for new and expecting moms, also boasts a wonderful group of body workers with lots of great pregnancy care experience!
MN Childbirth Collective A great resource to find doulas, birthing resources and more
Earth Mama Angel Baby Great products that are all natural for pregnancy and beyond
Business of Being Born A fabulous documentary with info on the benefits of trying for a natural birth and believing it can be done!
Orgasmic Birth Don't let the name scare you!  This is another great documentary that will boost your confidence if you think you'd like a natural birth!

Postpartum:
Earth Mama Angel Baby Some more natural products for healing after childbirth

Loss:
Glow In The Woods "parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come here to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion we learn for others, having been through this mess — and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged, understood."
Matt Logelin's Blog This MN man's story will inspire!  After the death of his wife Liz just hours after the birth of their daughter Madeline, this suddenly solo parent found the strength to carry on and live an amazing life that has touched many others!
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep This site is incredibly powerful, moving photographic tributes to some of the babies who leave this world too soon.
Missing Grace Foundation  MN local foundation that supports pregnancy and infant loss.  A wonderful local group with a great mission.
Earth Mama Angel Baby Special products for postpartum mommies who are also grieving a loss.

Parenting:
Mom's Rising dot org A great grassroots organization creating a movement for balance and support for families, moms and kids.  Includes links to a great documentary: The motherhood Manifesto
Holistic Moms Network General information on holistic parenting as well as links to local chapters
Say Yes to No Why setting boundaries helps your child understand the world, feel more secure, and enjoy life more fully!
Doctor Sear's Site Attachment Parenting Guru and author of The Baby Book, Dr. Sear's site with loads of helpful information


Please comment with your suggestions!

Mind/Body Connection

I had the opportunity to sit in on a mind/body stress reduction class last week which was wonderful, and inspired me to take a little time to write on the subject.

One of the aspects of Chinese medicine I like best is the inseparable connection between the mind and body. It wasn't until I began to study TCM that I realized that the mind and body were viewed as connected in medical history for much longer than not. It was only when dissection became a more common practice in the Renaissance that the mind was removed from "medicine" and put into the separate field of psychology. Thankfully, it is slowly working its way back in, thanks in great part to the demands of patients who are sick of being treated in fragmented parts instead of as whole human beings!

In Chinese medicine, and indeed in other more ancient healing paradigms, the mind body connection has never been dismissed. Chinese medicine believes that the whole body is involved in emotions and thought. Each organ has physical responsibilities, as well as emotional ones. A great example of this are the digestive organs. Not only does Chinese medicine see them as the organs responsible for food being processed and transformed, it views them as being the organs that are primarily affected when there is too much thinking and worry. It gives the sayings "food for thought" and "worried sick" a very literal meaning.

In Chinese medicine, the heart is the most involved organ when it comes to emotions. It is responsible for generating all emotions, perceptions and sensations. Because of this and other factors, the heart is thought of as the emperor or king, and rules over all other organs. I love this concept, because it shows how important emotions, perception and sensations are and implies that unhealthy emotions are extremely powerful in the body. Western research is "proving" this too. Recent studies have shown that as much as 80% of illness has a link to stress.

A study by Blue Shield of California showed that patients who listened to a stress reduction guided imagery cd before undergoing back surgery needed shorter hospital stays, fewer pain medications and cost on average $2,000 less than patients who did no relaxation techniques...what a win win situation. Faster healing, less pain and less cost for everyone! Another study by Kiecolt-Glaser & Glaser at the University of Ohio showed that identical wounds healed significantly slower in people who were acting as caretakers for loved ones with dementia than in those who were not under significant stress, but were otherwise similar in age, sex and economic factors. What's even more interesting, a follow up study by the same researchers showed that less extreme but stressful situations such as a simple disagreement with a spouse could also produce less extreme, but statistically significant delays in healing. (see http://pni.psychiatry.ohio-state.edu/jkg/ad.html for the article on dementia caregivers).

If you find these studies interesting and are interested in the mind/body connection, I would highly recommend a documentary called The New Medicine. It was made for PBS and has many many examples of the mind/body connection including information on the studies I referenced above. You can find it on netflix or learn more and purchase the dvd at: http://thenewmedicine.org/ If you go to the website you can also watch some clips and track your own health using a nifty health planner tool.

If you are interested in understanding your own health from a mind/body connection perspective I would highly recommend:

Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Conquering Infertility by Alice D. Domar (if you are trying to conceive)
Checking out a class on Mind/Body, Stress reduction, meditation, relaxation response, yoga, qi gong, etc. (ask me for suggestions!)
And of course...trying Chinese medicine :)