I was on vacation last week (a little staycation with my family and husband - hurrah!) and we decided to make the end interesting by kicking it prairie frontier style without power for 4 days! Okay, maybe mother nature decided that for us, but it sounds so much cooler the other way... wait, no nothing about 4 days without fans or AC is really cool.
So, day 3 of hauling ice, obsessively worrying about what was going to waste in our freezers and fridge, what should go in what cooler, where to get ice, if we had enough batteries, when and where to charge my phone, which windows to open, which blinds to close, how to optimize air circulation... you get the idea. I hit my melting point (oh, there are no shortage of puns with this one!)
I was wrestling a cooler filled with 40 pounds of ice and food up from the basement so I could wheel it over to a lucky neighbor with newly established power and use their fridge, when it struck... the pity party!
More specifically, the stories I tell myself...
My two personal favorites are...
If I don't do it, it won't be done (or done right)
I am an island, no one will help, all the pressure is all on me. I'm all alone.
and also decidedly NOT TRUE... but in that moment, I didn't care!
So, I rustled up enough self awareness (behind welled up ready to bawl eyes) to tell my husband, "I'm having a pity party, I feel like all this is falling on my shoulders and I have no support. I'm about ready to cry and I feel terrible right now."
He says, "It's not my fault you obsess over things." (note to any partners reading this... this is what NOT to say... but I do understand why he said it)
I say, "Calling me obsessed is not helping. I'm telling you I'm suffering and I need help. Please help me."
He pauses, and gets on his shoes and hauls the cooler with me!
WOW WOW WOW!!
Don't mind me, while I toot my own horn, but holy cow did that work!!!
So let's analyze... because I'd really like to do this again and I bet you could put it to good use too :)
Step 1: Awareness... I'm suffering.
Step 2: More awareness... I'm suffering because I'm... XYZ.... for this case - believing these stories
Step 3: Action... change your behavior (instead of sticking with XYZ)
Voila! I'm having a moment of unadulterated pride.
I've also implemented a new mantra into my life...
It is enough.
I am enough.
Very helpful in counteracting the I have to do everything, I have to do it or it won't be done right mentality... which usually leads directly into the I'm all alone, it's all on my shoulders pressure.
PS. I will forever have about 1000 things related to having power to add to my gratitude practice. Let me never forget just how magnificent electricity is.
PPS. Aside from his knee jerk defensive reaction (understandable) my husband could not have reacted in a more ideal way... another little piece of gratitude for sure!
Welcome to my blog!
I'm an acupuncturist, teacher, fertility specialist, patient centered advocate, mom, activist and more! This blog is a place for me to write down the things on my mind, the things I discuss over and over, and the things I find helpful, interesting, and inspiring all in the hope that someone else out there, maybe YOU, will find some of these things to be helpful, interesting and inspiring too. I love learning, I love sharing, and I am passionate about helping others lead more balanced, fertile, and healthy lives - while trying to do the same myself. So here goes... The Blogging Life...