The Haves and the Have Nots

Usually this is a phrase applied to socioeconomic status... those with money and those without. But I was at a couple of events today and it really struck me how it could apply to those couples with kids and those without.

I don't know why it's so obvious. The difference between us - those raising kids and those who aren't. Yes, raising kids takes a lot of energy, time, and is quite reasonably very present in our minds... when we are at said events we are always on the lookout for what our kids are doing (hopefully not sneaking their 5th cupcake, or beating their sibling over the head with a toy for example). But we all have lots in common in lots of other ways. We may live in the same geographical place, regularly work, eat, exercise, and do things to unwind. Most of us watch TV and listen to  the radio. We generally read and watch movies and like music. Yet, somehow something that sort of kills me happens at all too many events. It's all about the kids. Now, I've got two kids, they are the light of my life, the apples of my eye... yadda yadda, you know the cliche sayings... they are all that to me - for real, they rock! But it's a tricky trap... getting sucked into thinking the world revolves around them. A. It doesn't (unhealthy for me and them to pretend that it does) B. What sort of huge let down will being an empty nester be if I lose myself along the way and C. How terribly hard this is to the people in my life who not only do not have their own kids, but who want them?

So, if you have kids and are reading this. I challenge you to make a real effort to discuss a variety of topics with those around you (both those with kids and those without). Not, avoiding discussing your kids (that's weird too!), but not letting that eclipse everything else, and see how it feels. I think it's healthy in lots of ways, and I know it can make a big difference for those around you who are feeling like the odd couple out... waiting for their little ones to come and take center stage in their own lives.

A little moderation and balance is a good thing!